3 Phrases to Update from Your Vocabulary Now.
“I have to”
“I can’t”
“I should”
Here’s why + how:
“I have to”
Did you know that according to science saying or simply hearing “must/have to” releases stress hormones in the body? The truth is, there’s nothing, truly nothing, that we “have” to do. It’s all a choice. You choose to do the things you do.
“I can’t”
Whenever you say “I can’t”, you’re automatically putting restrictions on yourself and you’re undermining your sense of power. Because how do you know you can’t? How do you know for a fact that you really and truly cannot do something? Have you explored every way possible? Is this the truth or do you just choose not to? Again, you always have a choice.
”I should”
When we’re thinking of how something “should” be, we’re not accepting what 𝘪𝘴 happening. And when you think of what you “should” be doing, your mind automatically thinks of the reasons why you’re not doing it and what you’re doing instead. This cycle will lead you to indirectly criticise yourself.
How to stop:
Recognise: The first step in stopping any bad habit is recognising the habit. Notice more when you say the words have to, can’t, should.
Reflect: Why do you think you have to do this, can’t do that or should do this? Is it an expectation you have for yourself or one others have? Where are these words coming from? Who sets your standard for what you have to, can’t and should?
Try again: Try the sentence again, this time replace it with another word:
I have to — I choose, I decide, I get to
I can’t — I choose not to, I can
I should — I could or I want to
Notice how that changes the sentence and what it means and if it has any effect on how you feel.
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The words you say matter… a lot. Spoken, written or simply the words you use in your mind, all have potential power. They can lift your spirit or drag you down in an instant—and others with you.
Next time you say these words, catch yourself, reframe and simply try again.